True Personal Freedom

Wioleta Kapusta
Jul 21
3 min read

What if the mother didn’t listen to her child and it affected the rest of her life?

I was this child when one day my legs got numb and the next day the feeling in my legs came back again and my mother made a caring and out of fear decision to admit me to the hospital which was a closed ward with a group of sick kids without visitations against my wish and begging her not to do it.

My demonstration of me being perfectly fine at 6 and taking some sense to her didn’t work. She thought that the best way is to put me under observation to determine the reason for this incident with numbness. I felt fine, so I didn’t understand why she wanted to do it. That experience created for me to believe in abandonment and not being heard.

I had a lot of crazy experiences after that and a broken heart when other people didn’t listen to me or didn’t keep their word when I treated it as abandonment and not being heard and I didn't matter.

It led me to people pleasing and self sacrificing myself for the benefit of others for validation, for acceptance and love.

Entering the experimental team transformative experience when a lot of work was done to break through layers of limitations through all kinds of exercises in my 40s opened up the awareness of my childhood trauma that wasn’t ever addressed before other than attempting to treat me physically.

Since that awareness I had done a lot of work to shed layers of that trauma to accept myself to love myself again to forgive myself and forgive my mother through support with the trusted guides and supporting myself when I could quicker become aware when some experience still had a root in that childhood trauma.

This trauma wasn’t the only one that was experienced and it put the light on a couple of more traumatic events related to death of my grandfather and sickness of my mother and me rescuing her from dying around the same age.

I know that I am not alone with experiencing trauma and it might seem that those kinds of events weren’t that bad because others potentially experienced much worse.

It is easy to go to a comparison game and discount the significance of the effect of one fear action of one human being to another human being and confrontation of it or lack of awareness that may stamp a deep imprint in limited hidden belief out of fear for many years to come.

This can create such a ripple effect of living out of fear and self imposed and unconscious limitations.

Because of these traumas and other life experiences that were shaped by them, I also created awareness to awaken to what is possible to experience freedom of these self imposed limitations by misinterpretation of what was happening for me.

At that time it felt like a punishment that was shutting me down and my voice didn’t matter.

When my courage and curiosity to find out how to free myself turned to courage to speak up as a stand that I and other people matter, can be respected, accepted and loved and to model my true power and offer support to others especially women over 40s in their personal true freedom journey.

When we all can feel safe at home within and act out of harmony and love and create a positive and loving ripple effect in our own lives and lives of others.

This is how our legacy is created that we truly lived and made a difference and impact in this world.